Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
