oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I cockslap morals
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
