If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just pee around me
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize