I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize