my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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