Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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