He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
