I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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