4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
