your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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