two words...techno handjob
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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