She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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