your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize