Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
the liver wants what the liver wants
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
