I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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