Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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