Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
