honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize