Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
