I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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