i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
