He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
