your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize