if i can run in heels then i can drive
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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