oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
