): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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