He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize