Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I wish you could order shots online.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
