My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
