At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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