Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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