im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
