Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
