hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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