Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
