don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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