either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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