I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
