I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
