butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
