You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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