Define "chronic" masturbator.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
