ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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