i just had sex bonerless
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
