You're so nebulous sometimes
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My life is pants optional.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
