Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
