I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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