You just made me feel so damn special
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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