Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
