You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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