Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize