ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
