Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
