But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize