He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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