mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
