Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
