We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
did you just send me my own nude
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
