Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize