Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
