Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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