I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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