Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
