What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
