This is not my ceiling
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
