Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
