Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I want to fling myself into the sun
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
