addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
