Umm I'm too high to move.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
No subtext here. People are naked.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
