Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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