You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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