There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
