its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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