Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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