im about as happy as oj after his trial
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
3pm strippers are depressing
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize