My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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