Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
