Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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