Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just gargled with NyQuil
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
