Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
