How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
