after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
