sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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