Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
