everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
