of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
