The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
